SPAM is a cultural icon, whether you like it or not. The saltiness, fattiness, ability to withstand all manner of emergencies up to and including thermonuclear war anthe d zombie apocalypse, and the distinctive schlllloooooop sound they make as they slide out of their cheery blue cans have made the little spiced pork shoulder loaves famous all over the US (and beyond!). For some Hawaiians I know, that cacophony is more intense than a mating cry.
We tried every variety of Spam on the market a few weeks ago. It was a unique experience. But the real question is: what do you do with more than a dozen cans of Spam?
That's what you do: you get creative.
Each of these recipes is a modest step forward for Spam, but a great leap forward for Spamkind (as we community of Spam lovers like to call ourselves).
Spampions Breakfast
Spam may not be the other morning meat, or even the other breakfast meat, or even the other other other breakfast meat, but it's a strong contender for the title of the other breakfast meat. A couple of slices of fried Spam with toast and eggs is the simplest option.
Do you require a breakfast suited for a savage marauder because you managed to seduce that Viking last night? Would you like some Spam hash? To create Spash, simply saute your Spam cubes (I choose the Heated version) in hot oil, add some par-boiled cubed potatoes, and cook until everything is crisp, about halfway through, add some sliced onions and pepper. Season it with salt, pepper, and a dash of spicy sauce, then crack an egg into the center and bake it until the egg is just done. It'll be a resounding success for Splashing.
The Spammish Rarebit is as good and slightly more Anglican. Simply combine a block of Spam, a can of cream of chicken soup, a half cup of diced onion, and a few ounces of Velveeta in a food processor. Broil until golden brown and bubbling, then spread the resulting goo over a slice of toast. You are a Spammier man than I if you can think of anything trashier and more wonderful.
Let's move on to the second meal of the day, shall we?
Spamburgers
Making your favorite cheeseburger recipe and topping the hamburger patty with a slab of soft, salty Spam is the simplest option. If you want bacon on your burgers, Spam could be your Captain.
This is especially effective when paired with sweet dishes, such as a beautiful torchon de foie gras and a confit des fruits.
A Spamburger with Pineapple is a traditional Hawaiian dish, with the grilled pineapple complementing the hot Spam (try it with cheese-flavored Spam). I prefer to make mine with spicy mayonnaise and Swiss cheese, sandwiched between two English muffin buns.
Is pineapple just too good for you? Don't worry, I've heard you. The Spam Luther Burger is for individuals who have chosen the more calorie-dense path in life. That's fried Spam with American cheese on top, sandwiched between two split glazed donuts that have been griddled in butter (Ok, I actually used Spam fat). If you can believe it (and I know you can! ), this flavor combination works better with Spam than it does with a ground beef burger.
Other Spamwich Variations
Some people prefer the taste of cold Spam. One of them is not me. A Spam sandwich must be hot and griddled in my opinion. A simple grilled cheese sandwich with a slice of Spam is a delicious treat. Frying the Spam before assembling the sandwich improves its texture and flavor while also allowing the cheeses to melt more quickly.
Replace the Wonderbread with rye bread and you've got yourself a tasty Spammy-Melt.
If you go to NOLA, you might discover some of our Spam-endowed compatriots putting hot spam on a soft crusty baguette, adding a couple of big spoonfuls of olive salad and some sharp provolone to make the Spamaletta, one of Spamkind's greatest sandwiches.
As a New Yorker, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention The Speuben, one of the all-time greats. Simply smack a slab of Spam on a decent rye slice, top with a handful of crisp kraut, slather on the Thousand Island, top with a couple of slices of Swiss cheese, close it up, butter it up, and slide it right onto that hot griddle.
For the rest of us, a Spamwich
It's What's For Dinner: Spam
If you've ever been to Hawaii, you're probably familiar with Spam loco moco (fried Spam with gravy on a bed of rice), and everyone, right? grew up with Pineapple Spam Roasts* on the table every Sunday afternoon.
*A can of spam topped with canned pineapple and maraschino cherries, with optional curly parsley.
Spam for dinner, on the other hand, does not have to be limited to island cuisine. Do you have any doubts? Take a look at a handful of these guys:
The classic has just gotten a whole lot more refined. Only blue box mac & cheese with an extra slice of American or a big slab of Velveeta melted into it can beat blue box mac & cheese on the nostalgiometer (a scientific gadget that can evaluate nostalgia levels in four different dimensions). And what's the only thing that can compete with it?
What about blue box macaroni and cheese with additional cheese and crisp Spubes? That would be fried Spam cubes, and if you want to keep your meal down.
Have a hot date with a new girl or boy and want to impress them with Spam? What better way to communicate "I want you" than to top your Spamac & cheese with a handful of finely chopped chives? What exactly is it? Is it true that they despise Spam? If that's the case, you might want to reconsider if they're right for you. Then devour all of the Spam on your own.
Spamghetti Carbonara, on the other hand, is a Continental take on them. We've got Spam here, signora, so get rid of that pedestrian guanciale! Cook some tiny Spam cubes in your best olive oil (black pepper flavored, of course), season with pepper, then toss everything into a bowl. Add a couple of whisked eggs, then toss in your freshly cooked spaghetti and stir everything together to produce a rich, peppery, eggy, Spamalicious sauce. Grazie appetito!
